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Preparation - (Journal Date: 2/24/05)

5/21/2005

Not knowing where this cancer journey was taking me, I had read about preparation for several different things. I decided to set up a home office with internet connection to the office to be able to perform some work functions from home throughout treatments. My wife and I spent several mornings out having breakfast together, taking time for genuine conversation, laughing, shopping for office furniture, and in general having some great quality time together. We had always been close, but I hadn't realized how busy our lives had become with careers and young children. It is ironic and amazing how a cancer journey transforms an individual. Suddenly, simple things become so much more important and just living life becomes sweeter and easier to appreciate.

I also read that preparation was going to involve making plans for future arrangements in case things didn't work out, but the whole issue was too large and emotional for us to take on right now. But I can see that it will be easier to address the issues and make decisions sooner rather than later.

Instead, I wrote a very personal letter to my wife to let her know how much I love her and how important she is to me. I had a lot of things in my heart that I needed to share with her and the result was something far more meaningful than any greeting card I could have sent. I still have a need to write each of my children what they mean to me and what I hope they will achieve in their lives and to be true to themselves. Some folks have used video for this, but I will have to write to share my most personal thoughts since it would be too emotional for me to do otherwise. Why does it take a serious disease like cancer to make us want to share our love more completely with those around us??

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