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"Hey, Skinny"

4/7/2005

I’m all smiles today. As I was walking into the office building, in a pair of pants and sweater that I hadn’t worn in a very long time, a coworker pulling into the parking lot yelled, “Good morning, skinny!” Now, I am far from skinny. I have about 75 pounds to go, but that made my day. People are actually beginning to notice. I’m not actually sure if it is the weight loss or the “new me”. From the day I was accepted for this surgery, I have felt different. I feel more powerful, taller, stronger. I feel in control. I know I will shed my overcoat of fat and emerge the slim, classy woman I was meant to be. I feel her wanting to burst out now. Funny, isn’t it? I have had my hair cut and styled. I wear makeup every day now. I wear earrings. I care about how I look, even in my big, dowdy clothes. I will eventually lose this weight and fit into the “normal” world where I can meet people on a level playing field. I won’t worry all the time about my weight. I won’t worry about what people must think of me. It is so freeing.

It is still cold and rainy here, but soon it will warm up and I can wear sandals. Today, I decided to get pampered. I had a pedicure. It felt so good to have my feet and calves massaged with lotion. I had gel nails put on, too. I’m looking like a girly girl at 57! It’s about time. I no longer want to blend into the wallpaper. I was only 5’ 7” when I had this surgery, but I feel like I’m 6’ tall now. The smile is permanent, I think. Or at least, I hope!

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